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I’m really not an aggressive person – even though I’m an Aries and have dark red-hair – but there are a few types of airline passengers that drive me insane. This is a list of ten stereotypical airline passengers that I can’t stand and would love to knock some sense into them, if it wasn’t for being thrown in the brig by security.

The Biggest Loser

Airline industry please hear my plea – If an airline passenger is rather…obese…can you please force them to purchase more than one seat? I’ve had the lucky honor of sitting next to a few individuals who were probably on the borderline – as they required a seatbelt extender – and it just isn’t fair or safe for all nearby fellow passengers. While I do realize that everyone has the right and freedom to travel there should be some limitations on who is actually allowed to fly. Just check out this photograph that a flight attendant took on a flight of hers. Could you imagine being the guy sitting next to him? Ugh.

This isn't photoshoped either...

The Arm Rest Stealer

You don’t have the right to take both armrests in your seat just because you were the first one to sit down. I know that there are an odd number of armrests that will unfortunately leave someone without one but let’s try to play nice. Just know that if I peg you as this type of passenger, I will be plotting how to win back that turf the entire flight.

The Gabber

I’m sorry to be rude but the last thing I want to do on an airplane flight is talk to an absolute stranger. It’s always the same questions, “So what do you do for a living?”, “What brings you out to (city you’re landing at)?” and so on. I really just want to get a few hours of sleep even though I never feel fully rested when I do wake up.

The Sleeper

This is a special bulletin for those passengers who can’t stop themselves for falling asleep on the shoulder of me or other passengers. You can make your own head rest as a few airplane seats have movable headrest cushions or purchase one of those Travel Nook pillows. I don’t mind consoling an upset person that is leaning on me for emotional support – however, I do have an issue with a stranger physically leaning and possibly drooling on me.

The Drunk

This type of airline passenger was made famous by television show “Airline” that showcased the lives of Southwest Airline employees dealing with their daily duties – mostly covering unruly drunk passengers. I can’t stand when the person sitting next to me is pretty intoxicated and they keep purchasing those five dollar beers and wines once the plane reaches cruising altitude. I don’t want you getting up every few minutes to go to the bathroom or worse – getting sick.

The Texter

You’ve been in flight for only two hours and can already see these people salivating for the chance to power up their cellphone when the flight goes into the final descent. The first message they will fire off to their friends or Facebook status will something similar to “OMG! My pLaNe landed! Yayyy! 1 miss U!” Don’t worry but I’m pretty sure that you haven’t missed much in two hours of flying from one airport to another.

The Recliner

Is it that hard to follow the rules when the flight steward/stewardess ask to keep the seats straight before take off and during the landing? I already don’t have that much leg room as it is and some of us look forward to the take off and landings as our only times to enjoy the ’spacious’ area in-front of our seat.

The Seat Kicker

You really are the devil of the skies. Your constant kicking of the back of my seat can easily drive me insane in a mere few minutes. You’ll more than likely be spared if you are a young child but your mother or father will probably hear the wrath.

The Creep

This is the person who sits in their cramped airplane seat and stares at any good looking girl who steps foot on the plane. The only thought racing through their mind is, “Please, I hope she is sitting next to me on this four hour flight – I bet her hair smells like sunshine.” I apologize to any female reading this who did not know this happens because now you will be creeped out each time you walk into the cabin of the plane.

The Nervous Wreck

The chances of the plane falling apart – like the first episode of the television show L.O.S.T. (about 46 seconds into the video below) – is pretty rare. The probability of yourself becoming a causality is about 1 in 13,500,000 so you will probably have a better chance at the lottery. I was on a flight that had serious turbulence for about forty-five minutes as we attempted to land at LaGuardia in a nor’easter. Upon the landing gears going down and only a few feet from landing, the jet engines kicked onto full blast and we shot straight back into the sky – to which you felt gravity pushing back on your face. A young lady ran out of her seat and locked herself in the bathroom for the remainder of the flight because she was so nervous. We all survived.